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In a theatre full of almost 100 people, I had once asked a question, how many overthink and make things complicated for themselves. I didn’t count, but roughly I could see around 80 of them raised their hands. Now I don’t know what their definition of overthinking was, but my simple definition of overthinking is, thinking more than you realistically need to which comes in the way of your day-to-day activities.

The question is, why do we overthink? The answer to that is simple, “Emotions are action signals”, which was rightly said by Anthony Robbins. It is your brain’s way of telling you that you need to do something about something which you haven’t yet done. It also could be because of uncertainty about something, which means you need to do something to get clarity. That is why I say, there is no such thing as positive and negative emotions. When everything is in order, you feel good. And when it is not, the brain sends you the signals. So, if you don’t do anything about the signals, the brain keeps on sending you the interrupts and that’s when overthinking starts.

Overthinking can result in anxiety, worry, intrusive negative thoughts, and expectations, sometimes anger as well. But there are simple ways to deal with this and some of them are mentioned below:

1. Worry-decision tree: Next time when you know you are overthinking, ask yourself the question, “Is there a problem?”. The answer will be yes. Then ask, “Can I do something about it?”. The answer can be ‘yes’ or ‘no’. if it is ‘yes’, ask yourself, “When can I do it, now or later?”. If it is now, just do it and stop worrying or overthinking. If it is later, then schedule the activity on your mobile phone and come of the bucket of overthinking. Scheduling the activity makes it real or tangible. Your brain knows you are doing something about the problem. If you just keep it in your head, you will either forget doing the work, or you will continue to feel troubled. You will immediately see a good dip in your worrying intensity. Now if the answer to the question, “Can I do something about it?” is a ‘no’, then tell yourself to not increase your problems by thinking about something so intensely which is not in your hands. Afterall, you wouldn’t want to add on to your problems by being hypertensive. I mean, what is the point of worrying if you can’t do anything. But you know, most of the times, people coming with problems also have the solution to the problems. It is just about implementation that probably scares them. It scares them because implementing the solution they are thinking might hurt their life ecology in some way. Again, suffering and hurt is a given in life. According to Prigogine’s Postulations, whenever you make any change in your life, there is always entropy (difficult times) at the start, but then you have the new order in life which is much better compared to the earlier one. So, take your decision, and move to the new, better order. You must have realized, any answer you give to the above questions, the water drips into the bucket of ‘Stop overthinking’!
2. Change the way you talk to yourself: One of the issues which overthinkers have is the self-talk. Most of them keep saying negative things to themselves, about themselves, others, the world, or the future. Whenever I come across such people, I ask them for the evidence that their fear will come true. And they don’t have any evidence. They never have it. It is just a speculation, a perception. One philosophy that must be followed is, ‘Don’t worry, but take care’. If you keep saying to yourself, “I can never do it”, “I can never be on time”, “I can’t commit to anything”, your brain believes the same, as you keep repeating that. It is like an echo. If you go to an echo valley and shout negative things, you will hear the negative echo. So, now you know what you must shout to yourself.
3. Let go of the past: Here come the “I should have” statements. Or “I wish” statements. These ‘should’ or ‘wish’ statements have no meaning today, because the time is gone. Besides, you may be able to do it today instead of only wishing for it. I personally believe in the two statements, “Behind every behaviour is a positive intention for yourself” and “People make the best choices from the given options at that time and with the resources you have with you then”. You wouldn’t have done anything else anyway in the past because you knew then what you are doing is the best option you have. What you are thinking today is an after thought which came to you because of the results and the experience you had after that event. And of course, you did it because you saw something positive in it for yourself. There is no doubt that people never do anything without seeing something positive for themselves. Remember, you cannot change the past, you cannot change a second that just passed by. Learn the lessons from the past and ensure never to repeat the same mistakes again.
4. Live in the moment: This is naturally what you do when you let go of the past. I believe what got you here has no bearing on where you will go from here. Thinking too much about the uncertain future can give you anxiety, and living in the past can trigger distress if it is the sad part that you remember most of the time. Overthinkers find it hard to live in the present. Past or the future is always on the mind. Focus on the current moment so that you can give your best and do justice to your potential. Notice the world around you, how you feel now, what you can do to make this moment worth living, so you need not rethink and worry.
5. Challenge your thoughts: This is again about what evidence you have that the intrusive fear will come true. Sometimes we tend to distort reality and start thinking about something which may not be true. For example, my child is not yet home from the playground. Overthinking parents would start getting irrational thoughts of some bad happening. Negative magnification of the consequences starts happening. My spouse comes home late now, means s/he is having an affair and has stopped loving me. Again, a distortion because there is no evidence that it is true. My friend didn’t wave at me in the park and just kept walking on. This means I am not liked by my friend. Maybe I am not worth being friends with anyone. You will realize there is distortion at so many levels, whereas none of this could be true. Maybe the friend didn’t notice you. Start challenging the intrusive thoughts to get a rationale out of it. When you change your thoughts, you change your emotions, and hence your behaviour. This is a simple concept from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which has helped a lot of people deal with depression as well.
6. Focus on what you can control: Overthinkers always worry about things that are out of their control. Take a minute to analyze if that is something you have control over from a broad perspective. Focus exclusively on what is in your power. This magnifies and enhances your thought process and hence your results.
7. Identify your fears: Overthinkers tend to have irrational fears. You tend to suffer more often in the imagination of what might be that in reality. The best strategy to overcome fear is act and prove yourself wrong about the fear. The moment you act is the moment you win the battle with your overthinking.
8. Write down your solutions: Overthinkers keep thinking only about the problems! Think solutions! And then write them down. This again makes things tangible, and you know you have things in control. Journaling is an interesting strategy to quit overthinking and think more affirmatively. Make a list of all problems and write the solution for each problem. Writing is also a distracting strategy to let go of overthinking. This way, the brain shifts it’s attention towards the solutions.

There are many more strategies to deal with overthinking, which I will come up with in future blogs. But before finishing this one, I would like to give you a message that not all heart problems originate in the heart. A lot of them originate in the mind. Use these strategies and stay healthy.