I have been itching to write a blog on this topic for quite some time now, and I was tempted to title it “5 simple ways to unf*ck yourself”. But then I thought that few people might not like the language in the title. I’ve realized that too many people these days get too easily hurt and my intentions are not to hurt anybody’s sentiments. And I am not inspired from the book because I haven’t yet read it. So, I am hoping that whatever I write here will have at least a few points which are new and not in the book. And if all the points match, I have a reason to feel proud that intellectually, emotionally, spiritually my thoughts match with the author.

So, let me cut the chase and get down to business. I might be a little blunt but that’s how it is. No sugar-coating. Here are the points:

1. You and only you are responsible for your happiness. They announce something similar during the safety demo in an airplane, “In case of emergency, first wear the mask yourself and then help others”. The reality is that everyone is concerned about their life first, their happiness, their success, their money, and the list goes on. And there is nothing wrong with it. If you expect other people would make you happy, that belief will crash like a pack of cards someday. Again, you might meet people who make you happy and who would truly contribute to your success, not denying it. But keeping that expectation as the universal truth is highly dangerous. Aim at being self-sufficient, self-reliant. Have a plan, in case anyone craps in your plate. I believe in this one thing very strongly as far as people are concerned, “Every relationship has an expiry date”. People are going to leave you anyway. Either by death, or separation due to various reasons including clash of values, beliefs, personalities, distance etc. Then why have such dangerous expectations
2. Self-pity is a sin. Stop playing the victim. Bad shit happens to each one of us. What defines your character is what you do after that. Do you remain at the ‘effect’ end of the life equation or move towards the ‘cause’ end to take decisions to make your life better. And after taking those decisions, taking responsibility for those decisions. By the way, most of the times, whatever shit happens in our life, we are responsible for it. Or some might just brand it as an unfortunate coincidence. I don’t believe in the latter. But by taking responsibility, we can learn how to manage disappointment and make better plans in the future.
3. Stop calling others ‘lucky’, especially the successful ones. If you get a free pizza because the delivery guy took more than 30 minutes to deliver, that can be categorized as ‘luck’. Lasting success rarely comes as the result of luck. Successful people position themselves correctly to recognize the opportunities so that they are able to act when they appear. That positioning is the result of hard work, smart work, being perceptive, empathetic and most importantly taking action. In the long run, successful people make things happen, rather than things happening to them.
4. Stop blaming the circumstances. There are certain things nobody can choose. For example, your parents. There are lots of external factors which are not in your control. Covid-19 is one good example. We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can control how we respond to them and overcome the challenges. Focus on the things you can control and don’t overthink or worry about the things you can’t.
5. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. This is not what people with high Emotional Quotient do. Keep your head up and keep moving. This is the single difference between success and failure. The philosophy which army men follow is, “A soldier never quits unless he is dead”. This one is clearly my favorite. Once again, we are defined by our response to hardships in our life, not by the hardships themselves. People stop responding, and that is the problem.
6. Don’t be a b*tch. Never cheat in life. Because what you send out in the universe, you will get it back. Be a positive person, spread positivity and you will get it back.

I am sure there are many more pearls of wisdom. But implement these and I will come back with some more in future blogs. These points have helped me in my life, personally and professionally. Hopefully these would help you as well.